TWO HALVES EQUAL : TWO HALVES

Or A Supplement to “Nobody Completes You.”

I was sitting in a bar one evening…well, actually every evening, but this was one particular evening…and thought it might be amusing to pull a Dylan Thomas. I got as far as the first shot of Bourbon when I realized I had laundry to do. This prompted me to check my to-do list and I saw that there was actually a lot I still wanted to accomplish, so that was the end of my fun little plan. Also I suppose some people would miss me. Just as well, because when I really think about it, dying is the last thing I want to do.


Mortal Coil duly unshaken off, my thoughts were drawn to a blog that one of my Yoga Mentors, Jonathan Fields, posted recently. Chiefly because I was about to post a similar blog when I saw his. The blog was called “Nobody Completes You.” Probably no need to elaborate on that, but yes it pertains to that ridiculous melodramatic scene at the end of Jerry Maguire. And as usual, Tom Cruise is so wrong.


Yogis are taught the importance of nonattachment, kind of like Jedis (and look what happened to the one that got too attached). Of course, living with compassionate detachment is easier said than done—A silly saying really, what ISN’T easier said than done? I’m never saying that again. Done.


So the question is, can one live--and love--without attachment? Without this notion that we have to find someone else to make us “complete?” Because if One thinks that, One should not be in a relationship at all. Because you don’t think you’re “One,” at all, do you? You think you’re half. And what you believe of yourself is what is, that’s what you’re going to bring to any relationship. And if you find someone who is whole? Great! They’re One, and you’re still a Half. What are you gonna do if they leave? Good luck with that.


A reading from the Book of Springsteen: “You spend your life waiting for a moment that just don’t come.” A moment, a job, a place to live, a person. You’re waiting for something, someone to make your life begin. Like the heroes of two of my favorite books. Jay Gatsby. Jake Barnes. Both expending all their energies, sacrificing their very selves to win the love of a woman who doesn’t deserve them in the first place. Someone else who is just a half, if that.


And sure it’s “pretty to think so,” that everything’s going to be all right when this great “thing” happens. But in the end you cannot live inside that illusion. Happiness can only come from one place.


A reading from the Book of Stipe:
“The only thing worth looking for, is what you find inside.”