Only Jim Can Prevent Forest Fires

When I was a young boy, there was a commercial on TV. This commercial showed horrible fires in the woods, awful fierce-Bambi-Mother-killing type fires. Then a bear, we'll call him Smokey, came on, pointed at me and said, "Only YOU can prevent forest fires. Only YOU."

Being an impressionable youth, I took this literally. It was MY responsibility to prevent forest fires. The bear was very persuasive. I think it was the hat. (Never ignore the words of a bear in a hat. I was sure he even mouthed "Jim," at the end of it.

Just to make sure, I went to my mom. "Mommy" I asked, "Is it my job to prevent forest fires?"

"Yes Jimmy it is." (I had not yet understood the vastness of my mother's legendary sarcasm.) I trembled, then spent my entire 5 months allowance on a fire extinguisher.)

Night after night, I would watch the news and learn of another forest fire. "Damn! Too Late!" I said. Then the bear would come on and point at me again. My mom would then look at me and nod in agreement.

Cut to today. Well, yesterday. I took on a project that I had absolutely no business doing. I accepted it out of desperate thoughtlessness and the arrogance that I could add yet another daunting project to my schedule. I work 10 hours a day, and the rest is devoted to my Yoga training and doing other Jim type things that are very necessary to who I am. And I thought I was going to add another 8 hour a day project to this. Cause you know, I'm god.

Well I'm not. (I'm closer than most people, but still...) No. We have to be honest with ourselves and recognize what we can and can't do. Accept the things we can't change and have the courage to change the things we can. (That's the Serenity Prayer from Alcoholics Anonymous, I memorized it over a bottle of Scotch last night.)

As my fellow Yoga peeps know, when you are in Asana you have to know the difference between tension (fixable) and compression (that's all you can do, deal). So in hindsight I'm proud of this little life lesson and glad that I can share it with my discipl---I mean friends.

Yoga Class Etiquette

I do not have a picture of me doing Yoga, so please enjoy this picture of Darth Vader in Tree Pose.



This month's issue of Yoga Journal features an article on etiquette tips designed to enhance your Yoga practice, and make sure you don't screw up anyone else's. I will now go through some of the points and give my own commentary.


1. Get there early.

CRITICAL Yo. There's nothing worse than showing up after the opening OMing and chanting and trying to jam your mat in between two people who are already well downward into their dogs. (Just like me--LAST NIGHT.) It disturbs the other students and makes it hard for you to get in the zone. Get there early, do your bathroom thing, grab your blocks and put your mind and body where it needs to be.

2. Don't hog the teacher!

Yes adjustments are great. But there's a new student in the back that could really use some help and you? There you are front and center every single class with that sad look on your face like a dog begging for a treat. NO. NO.


3. No Omgasms.

Some students do not know the difference between a blissful SIGH, and a MOAN. If you feel like making a sound that you wouldn't have wanted your mom to hear coming out of your bedroom when you were 14, DON'T.

"There's no MOANING! There's no MOANING in YOGA!"---Tom Hanks

4. Save the Scents for the Shower after Savasana.
Don't be Spraying Eu De Ganesh all over yourself before you hit the mat. People are breathing deeply and don't want an Ujjayi full of perfume or cologne.


5. Savasana.
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY DO NOT SKIP THIS! This is what it's all about, it may be the most important pose we do. This is where you soak in the benefits of your Asana practice and rejuvenate body mind and spirit. Do you really need to get to Best Buy that badly? I thought not.